I knew there was a reason I was dreading today so much before it even happened. I know I have written before about how much I was looking forward to alone time and all that, but let me tell you, I cried the biggest tears ever after dropping my mom off at the airport this morning. We'll see her again in a couple of months, but realizing how much she truly has helped with Lukas and Lilli and keeping this home in some kind of order, put me in panic mode. As if that wasn't enough, today was Ben's first day of work. He works swing shift, so at least he was there in the morning. Still, I knew it was going to be a rough afternoon.
After Ben left around 1:20ish, I fed both babies, burped them, changed them, and got them ready for a walk. We've been jotting down when we feed what to monitor Lilli's digestive processing, which has helped keep track of how much they truly eat and how often they eat (who the heck are the people, "experts", that say that at almost 2 months, babies should eat 4-6 times 5-6 ounces each time. Not these two....we feed many more times!).
Anyhow, I felt brave and even took the dog. We made our way to the park without too many issues, despite missing sidewalks and chained up dogs (I have really come to hate our neighborhood!). We did a loop in the park and headed home. By then, both Lukas and Lilli were starting to get fussy, and that's when the fun started. I was able to put Lilli on the couch, where she pretty much chilled for a couple of hours. Lukas, however, holy crap, he screamed for a couple of hours almost non-stop. Needless to say, I was crying right there with him. I know, I know, babies sense all that, but at that point, I really didn't care. Between him crying and me howling, Max our dog, must have felt really bad.
I lugged Lukas around, changed his diapers, held him close, rocked him, put him flat on his back, on his stomach, everything...nothing helped. I think he's also dealing with constipation issues, judging from his little (and some not so little) farts. Feeding time (tandem feeding - the boppy pillows are such a great invention for that!) ended around 7:30ish and believe it or not, both babies have been relatively quiet since then. Lukas is out cold, at least he's not moving on the monitor. Lilli, however (of course, after being "good" all day) is squirming around like a little worm and still has her eyes wide open (the monitor, equipped with night vision, shows her little eyes popping out like a little alien - creepy!). I, in the meantime, managed to chow down a bowl of mac and cheese (eeew), fold some laundry, water the plants, and alas, write a blog entry.
I know, I know, it will get better. Right now, though, I need to feel sorry for myself (-: I am appreciative of all the help that people have offered and will definitely take all of you up on it, but I'm gonna give it a try for a couple of days on my own. For God's sake if octomom can have 14 or however many kids she has, I should be able to "handle" two. So, here I am, lonely and exhausted, hoping that tomorrow will be better.
On a positive note, both Lukas and Lilli are much more alert when they are awake and I'm waiting for the day that they intentionally smile - it better be at me!
Time to get the little princess from upstairs. 2.5 more hours before Ben comes home...I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!
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